Rules That Don’t Work : Why People Still Follow Them
Most people like to think of themselves as rational. Independent. Capable of spotting nonsense when they see it. Yet every day, millions of people follow rules they privately know aren’t helping them. Rules that drain energy, limit options, and quietly keep them stuck.
Yet they follow them anyway.
This isn’t because people are stupid or weak. It’s because rules rarely survive on logic alone. They survive because they attach themselves to fear, identity, and belonging. Once that happens, the rule no longer needs to work. It just needs to feel safe.
That’s where the real trap begins.
Rules Are Rarely About Results
Rules are often presented as solutions. Do this and you’ll be successful. Don’t do that and you’ll avoid failure. Follow the system and things will work out. But if you look closely, most rules are not designed to maximize outcomes. They’re designed to stabilize behavior.
A rule that truly optimizes human potential would require constant revision. It would invite questioning. It would change as circumstances change. Systems don’t like that. Stability is easier to manage than growth.
So instead, systems create rules that reduce unpredictability. The goal isn’t progress. It’s control.
People absorb these rules early. Through school, work, culture, and family. By the time adulthood arrives, many rules feel less like instructions and more like facts. That’s why they’re rarely examined.
Familiarity Is More Powerful Than Truth
A rule doesn’t need to be effective to be followed. It only needs to be familiar.
Familiar rules reduce anxiety. They give people a script. Even if the script leads nowhere, it’s comforting to know what comes next. Uncertainty, on the other hand, demands attention, courage, and responsibility.
Most people aren’t avoiding success. They’re avoiding uncertainty.
That’s why a broken rule is often defended more fiercely than a new idea. The rule may not work, but it’s known. And known discomfort feels safer than unknown possibility.
Identity Keeps Bad Rules Alive
One of the strongest reasons people follow rules that don’t work is identity.
Rules don’t just tell people what to do. They tell people who they are. Hard worker. Reliable employee. Sensible adult. Responsible parent. Good citizen. Once a rule becomes tied to identity, questioning it feels personal.
Breaking the rule is no longer about changing behavior. It’s about threatening the self-image built around it.
This is why people often react emotionally when their rules are challenged. The resistance isn’t logical. It’s protective. You’re not questioning the rule. You’re questioning who they believe themselves to be.
That’s a powerful force.
Social Proof Beats Personal Evidence
Even when a rule clearly isn’t working, people look sideways before looking inward. If everyone else is still following it, it must make sense. Or at least, it must be safer to pretend it does.
Social proof is a shortcut the brain loves. If many people are doing something, it must be correct. Or at least acceptable. This is how entire cultures maintain habits that quietly erode wellbeing while publicly praising them as “normal.”
People don’t want to be first to step out of line. They want permission. And permission rarely comes from systems that benefit from compliance.
Fear Is the Enforcement Mechanism
Rules persist because they are policed by fear.
Not always obvious fear. Often subtle versions. Fear of judgement. Fear of failure. Fear of looking irresponsible. Fear of losing status. Fear of having to explain yourself.
The irony is that many rules promise safety while producing long-term damage. Routine without reflection. Careers chosen without curiosity. Lives lived according to expectations rather than intention.
The rule feels safe in the short term. The cost is deferred.
And deferred costs are easy to ignore.
Systems Reward Obedience Before Outcomes
Another reason broken rules survive is that systems often reward compliance before competence.
Following the rule is visible. Results often aren’t, at least not immediately. So people are praised for obedience even when outcomes are poor. Promotions, approval, and validation are tied to fitting the pattern, not questioning it.
This trains people quickly. They do what’s expected, and don’t ask uncomfortable questions. Stick to the script.
Over time, the ability to think independently atrophies. Not because people can’t think, but because thinking has become risky.
The NoRuleBook Perspective
From a NoRuleBook point of view, the most dangerous rules are the ones that no longer feel like rules at all. They feel like reality.
These are the rules people never articulate but always obey. The assumptions that go unchallenged. The defaults that shape decisions without being acknowledged.
Rules like :
‘This is just how things are.’
‘That’s not realistic.’
‘People like me don’t do that.’
‘It’s too late to change.’
None of these are laws. They’re inherited beliefs. And they work perfectly for the systems that benefit from predictability.
NoRuleBook isn’t about rejecting all rules. It’s about refusing to outsource thinking. A rule should earn its place in your life. If it doesn’t improve outcomes, expand capability, or support growth, then rules that don’t work deserve scrutiny.
Why Breaking Rules Feels So Hard
Breaking a rule that doesn’t work still carries a cost. That cost is usually social before it’s practical.
People may question you. Distance themselves. Warn you. Project their fears onto your decisions. That pressure is real. It’s why most people stay inside broken systems long after they’ve stopped believing in them.
But there’s a quieter cost to staying. One that accumulates slowly.
Regret doesn’t arrive as a dramatic failure. It arrives as a question you avoided asking for too long.
What You Can Take Away From This
The lesson isn’t to rebel for the sake of it. The lesson here is to just become conscious.
Rules should be tools, not identities. They should be adjustable, not sacred. The moment a rule can’t be questioned is the moment it stops serving you.
You don’t need to dismantle your life. You just need to examine it honestly.
A Simple NoRuleBook Exercise
Allow ten minutes to perform the following exercise (with no distractions).
Write down three rules you live by without thinking. Not official rules, but personal ones. Things you assume to be true.
For each one, ask :
Where did this rule come from?
Who benefits if I keep following it?
What would actually happen if I questioned it?
You don’t need to break the rule. Just notice it.
Awareness is where autonomy begins.
Most people don’t lack discipline. They lack permission to think differently. NoRuleBook exists to remind you that permission doesn’t come from systems – It comes from clarity.
The real question isn’t why people follow rules that don’t work. It’s why you’re still following the ones you’ve already outgrown.
